Hi everyone in my incredibly intelligent and pretty niche of readers group of people who read this shit (that’s right, I won’t bow to you or anyone else!). You’ll never guess what I’ve been doing all this time I have neglected this blog, “Stuff your fat face full of pie and touch yourself inappropriately for being in public”? NO…. I’m pleasantly plump. But what I was referring to was contacting all kinds of companies trying to get free crap. I became privy to this video from Bungie, The dudes who made most of the Halo stuff, replying to a concerned customer, Timothy, about an unusable disc of Bungie’s game Halo 4… except that Bungie doesn’t make Halo 4. The Video is Bungie relaying just what good customer services is: Giving idiots free shit just so the wont keep spreading their stupid by opening their mouths anymore. Check it out:
See that? I love dramatic readings, I’m gonna dramatically read this when I’m done, then I’m going to dramatically read the obituaries in a nursing home, and finally I’m going to dramatically read the police report to the judge after they arrest me for inciting a panic. So “Timothy” is a sturdy combination of both a great consumer and a lazy slob at the same time, which makes me both love and hate him. For instance, I am a big supporter of customer/user feedback, I feel it is really the only way to show a manufacturer/producer whether or not their product blows chunks in your mouth. On the other hand our boy “Timothy” here seems to be looking for a hand out, and I despise lazy f**ks like that. I think it’s fairly obvious that he never had the game, and hopefully the copy that Bungie so graciously gave to him was full of fecal covered job applications to Subway and a small note that said “get your shit together kid”. That aside I think this is a wonder lesson for all of us. Now If you’ll excuse me I have to call BMW and ask them to replace my Mustang GT.
[Kotaku]
Black Sheep Codex 