I want: Slot machine that dispenses winnings in liquor

See that picture up there? It combines my two favourite vices, Gambling and drinking (whoring myself across the country was a means to get rides to church so I think it evens out). Normally I don’t touch slot machines, it takes far too long for me to lose my money to it. I also hate the noises they make, it just sounds like I 300’d my brother’s kid down the stairs while she was holding a shitty motion activated music toy except this time we don’t have to drive to the hospital. Getting back on track, this slot machine is a whole different animal! it pays out in my favourite kind of booze(all of them). Heres a wicked friggin dull quote off the source page about how it works (I strongly suggest skimming)

“Wires soldered onto coils inside the machine determine what you end up drinking. The wired coils magnetically turn the rotors within three spinning wheels, and a computer detects the resulting combination. The team programmed the machine to stop only on mixes you’d find in a bartender’s manual; just for fun, it also pays out tokens, but it yields a drink or a re-spin for a drink every time. The computer receives the result and sends ingredients and proportions for the winning drink to a microcontroller, which directs the bar unit, where pressurized containers store alcohol and mixers. The microcontroller uses solenoid valves to flow the ingredients in timed increments through a group of nozzles. An LED screen displays what’s just been served, along with witty lines inspired by Fear and Loathing. Our favorite: “As your attorney, I advise you to spin!”

See? you killed yourself, good job. Anyway you could build yourself one of these puppies for a mere $3000 and 120hours of labor. either of which is nothing compare to my last weekend in Vegas($18000, a black eye, four stitches, a bleeding cashier, stolen performing parrot, 2 cher impersonators in a battle to the end and 164 hours in jail for assault and conspiring to organize a to the death “imposters fighting league”)

This entry was written by CatastroFUCK and published on February 26, 2011 at 11:00 AM. It’s filed under Awesome and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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