Hiya guys, sorry we’ve been away for so long but it has been an eventful end of the week for us. Personally I just landed in Texas, the land where everything is big (or if Im reading it correctly, tiny penises), last night and boy are my…blah blah jokes and shit. Unfortunately it’s not gonna be business as usual over the course of the next 2 weeks whilst I am otherwise engaged in my work garbage, but we are going to do our best to keep you healthily stuffed with friggin awesomeness till your balls/lady balls explode. Hopefully we will have another writer coming on very soon to make sure you never go hungry for succulent neato with a side of sweet. This post will be a quickie however as I am of to drive in my awesome sports car to make money so I can waste it all on liquor and casinos. Now then [clears throat]….:

That there is the periodic table of Swearing…this should be of no surprise to you, it was the title after all. What you don’t know however is that it speaks to you, which is a super added bonus for us lazy ass Americans(oh yeah I forgot to mention, this thing speaks English…like the real English…from England). It was created by a tag team of Jon Link and Mick Bunnage, as well as a hand from Clay innovations. The problem I see with this is that there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to the layout aside from that they wanted it to resemble the periodic table. It doesn’t seem to tell you when to say what level of swears by situation or relationship to the recipient, or seem to even order them by “weight” of the insult. There may be some sort of purpose behind the whole thing….but the two articles I read didn’t say anything but that “it swears” and then rattled off a bunch of unnecessary measurements about the board and wires and amount of material used and useless shit running on forever. So anyway, no you can’t have one, because this is the only one and I already stole it, and yes I do eat fish but only on occasions were I’m pretending to “not eat meat”(because you know, somehow a once living thing’s muscle is not considered meat because it was in the water….stupid people).

Here’s a video that tells you no more information about the object:

[DVice]

11 Dec This entry was written by CatastroFUCK and published on December 11, 2011 at 8:04 AM. It’s filed under artsy, Awesome, Stuff and tagged business road trip!, England, its small but fierce!, lack of information, still hungover, table of elements, Tablet, Texas, the big curse, where's cptn obvious and the stupid gang?. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.