Merry Xmas(note the spelling…note it hard).

Hey everyone!. I just wanted to say that every single sexy one of you should have a great Xmas. Xmas of course is the consumer holiday, and not Christmas which is limited to those of faith…which I only have in myself and currently Casey McKinnon, whom recently helped me discover that I am a figment of my own imagination which makes me the ruler of my own little self-digestive world ooooorr off my medication. I truly hope you all have a relaxing period of temporary joy, cuz lets face it…everywhere is closed. Sit back, pour yourself a cup off spiked eggnog and watch as people put on how selfless they are (SPOILER!!!: they totally hated what you gave them and are super disappointed). My sister gets way into the times, like waaaaaay into it. She schedules tree hunting parties….and not “yay hahahaha la-dee-dum” parties, groups of comrades in the same hunt parties.

incidentally that’s the same tool that turned my ex-brother-in-law into a woman.

She bought 40,000 Xmas lights with rapid flash technology so her neighbors could feel the warmth of a good old-fashioned Holiday Epileptic seizure. Her poor dog, normally very manly and proud, is covered with so much garland that it looks like the unworldly offspring of Valentino Liberace and Christopher Lowell. So don’t be HER, just enjoy the lights and lofty music as you fade away into your melty, acid-induced world and just be sure to pee first, otherwise it will end up in places obscene and humiliation prone.

What? You thought I meant your pants?

I personally like to fly thru the family bullshit and go straight to videogames, with a preliminary round of drinking. I dont stay there of course once the boozeenergy drink kicks in Im out the door for some personal fun and entertainment. I have my close friends from here at the Codex of course, but once I shit on there lawn as a show of dominance I can keep myself occupied with a pleasant walk around the city taking in the sights and giving back to the community whenever an opportunity presents itself.

like the angle of the kringle?…no?..yeah shit joke..

I do really hope you all have a wonderful time, I know I will, and I cant wait to see you all (and all of the friends you told about us over the holiday) back here in a few days. For those of you waiting on writer application reviews, give me a few days(those of you whom are confused right now, you can write for us, just send an email to and one of us will be in touch).
-The most Joyous of evenings to you (dont skimp on the liquor).
Site Deity, CatastroFUCK

This entry was written by CatastroFUCK and published on December 24, 2011 at 5:31 PM. It’s filed under Story Time, Stuff and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “Merry Xmas(note the spelling…note it hard).

  1. badbabbler on said:

    Merry Christmas matey. See you in the New Year, where hopefully, normal services shall resume (and I move to Manchester, get a job, find a girlfriend and then ride off into the sunset like a boss)

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