GIVE ME THE PASSWORD!!!


Passwords are an area in which the common, sub 8th grade, mind tend to fall into redundancy. You choose a base like “manboylover” and then subtly change it for each sign in you need(ie: yahoo account=manboylover12, Gmail= manbOyloVe!, backdoorsluts.com=manboylove?). In actualoty your supposed to use a completely unique and cluster-fucked password for each site, this way the likelihood your account will be hacked by my brilliant, near unlimited, mind. This here is a list of just how much time (or lack there of) it takes to crack simple passwords. So all those retarded sites that make you throw in numerics or symbols into your pass word at least have a reason. Doesnt mean im not still gonna go all Tyler Durden on their servers tho. eat digital soap you bleep-bloopy mother fucker

Most-used passwords: 123456, password, 12345678, qwerty, abc123

Time it takes a hacker’s computer to randomly guess your password:

Length: 6 characters
Lowercase: 10 minutes
+ Uppercase: 10 hours
+ Nos. & Symbols: 18 days

Length: 7 characters
Lowercase: 4 hours
+ Uppercase: 23 days
+ Nos. & Symbols: 4 years

Length: 8 characters
Lowercase: 4 days
+ Uppercase: 3 years
+ Nos. & Symbols: 463 years

Length: 9 characters
Lowercase: 4 months
+ Uppercase: 178 years
+ Nos. & Symbols: 44,530 years

Average amount it costs a business to field a phone call requesting a password reset: $10
Proportion of help desk calls that are password-related: 30%
Users who choose a common word or simple key combination for a password: 50%

 

The only thing I’d ask of them to stave off my self-mutilation inspired attack on their totalitarian password regulations is a simple one: FUCKIN TELL ME IN THE PASSWORD FIELD THAT YOU REQUIRE IT! you told me when I signed up for beareatsmonkey.com why cant you remind me when im signing in? im tired of clicking “forgot password?” only to find out I had to add a “78” to the end of what I just put in thirty times.

[BusinessWeek]

This entry was written by CatastroFUCK and published on February 10, 2011 at 3:33 PM. It’s filed under Digital Wonderland and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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