Mazda has issued a big recall on there 2009 Mazda 6’s. The reason for these 65,000cars to be extradited(come on give me points for the word) to your nearest service center? Not faulty speedometers, nor sticky shift knobs,no plaque buildup, nor swollen ankles, nor bombs, but spiders! Yes Spiders have systematically broken down the code of the computer’s operating software and they can now take control of your car to drive you straight into the first Target department store they see. It’s not that they love Target or anything, it’s just that is a giant target…it has the adverse effect of an arrow. Well that joke has really gone no where, so the real reason is in fact spiders, but because they are building nests in your air housing not taking your family hostage. More than 20 vehicles were found with spider nests in the vents and it has rallied the company to go all arachnoid death machine on their cars. Just because its spiders doesn’t mean I consider this a pointless recall tho
because now we know where Spider-man’s masturbation station is. The thought of thousands of tiny baby spiders being showered upon me when I go to flick the A/C on is not only less than pleasing, but it’s down right nauseating.