Apparently during my adventures on sabbatical there has been talk on mainstream media about cell phone waves killing bees, like straight out dropping them mid-air SAM style. So I went on an extreme research venture (one site cuz I had like 15 minutes to write this) to find out the truth! Turns out the bees laugh at our waves like they are little tiny girls with ice cream pops….well kind of.
In actuality, bees are able to tell when nearby phones either make or receive calls. The bees start making “piping” sounds, which notify the rest of the colony that something disturbing is happening nearby. That, or it’s time to swarm.
“The induction of honeybee worker piping by the electromagnetic fields of mobile phones might have dramatic consequences in terms of colony losses due to unexpected swarming,” wrote researcher Daniel Favre, formerly a biologist at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology.
In his experiments, Favre noticed that no swarming took place, even when he let the phones run for up to 20 hours at a time. After the process was concluded, it would take hours for a bee colony to return to a “normal” state, or how the colony looked prior to the cellular experiments.
Okay so apparently bees dont care much that the signals are all around them but when data starts piping thru those invisible tubes that make phones work, they get all kinds of fucked up and have group orgies destruction derbies. But in all data it seems to show that it doesn’t do all that much harm to the colony (probably cuz they dont actually swarm), in fact knocking down a hive or opening it to examine or spraying the shit out of there faces with Raid™ does much more harm.
Additional research into bees and electromagnetic signals has indicated that the presence of a strong signal over a prolonged period of time can inhibit worker bees’ ability to find the hive. However, Favre notes that additional study is needed in this area to prove or disprove the finding.
“Further confirmation of the current results and their implications regarding a direct correlation between erratic honeybee behavior and mobile phone-generated electromagnetic fields would substantiate one more explanation for the “disappearance” of bee colonies around the world.”
End of the day the guy basically just said that he didnt really find anything conclusive and just wasted the research money on hookers and cheap whiskey, just like any good American would.
Anyway I hope to get up something much better tomorrow, maybe and adventure story about a princess and her ability to NOT CALL MY PHONE AT 11PM!!! it would be fiction.