Hey guys! It’s been a long time, a long sad time filled with liquor and shame and the occasional shared intravenous drug use with a hooker to cover up the disappointment. Worst of all, there was an apparent hiccup with the site while I was gone, NAMELY THAT THERE WASNT ONE! Apparently KGC turned down the offer to write again…and no one could get a hold of me or another replacement writer. What a terrible thing, so now on top of all my precious
minions readers not being informed on top-notch awesomeness, I also lost traffic bringing my ratings down in the company as a kick ass fuckin article smithy, melding the perfect blend of comedy, knowledge and manliness(no mom it’s not sexism) like some savant limerick composer gone rogue. Well you all have my deepest apologies and I will be contributing this week, Im still dealing with very serious and personal things far away from home so I wont be on as much as I would like, but I will make sure to get at least something down everyday for you to read. Again Im sorry about the KinderGardenCop mix up…I know alot of you were really looking forward to his return and I regret he hurt you (Just keep in mind I would never do the same…aside from sleeping with your attractive significant other or relative).
Well Im pooped and still have many things to take care of (soberly I might add, so bowel-wrenching terrible would be an acceptable synonym). Hopefully I can come up with something good for you guys in my small bits of free time.
-with dirty sweaty love, CatastroFUCK