Bulldog to be Redesigned

Do you love the cute little Bulldog? Yea? Well you’re a friggin monster!!! Bulldogs are not only know for their distinctive looks but also by the serious health problems that come with them. and when I say “come with them” I mean the distinctive looks, not the dog. See that cute little scrunched nose, those adorable chunky legs, and the occhy-woochy (not a word) V-frame leading to the tiny rear-ends….all of those are made by a process called anthropomorphic selection(breeding to kep genes of a desired trait, not to be confused with agripharmaceutical engineering which is genetic alteration…tho really it’s pretty similar) and it leads to breathing problems, hardship in walking, inability to breed or give birth on its own, and congenital heart failure. So In an act to try to be a bit nicer to the bulldog, white-coats are pushing for a redesign of the breed leaving it with a longer snout, leaner build, child-bearing hips, and fewer skin folds that look like fat-waterfalls. Now the whole argument about the differences (or lack thereof) between breeding and genetic modification isn’t really important to me just yet, but what the dog looks like will, I need it to attract women…pretty dog-loving women..who can make tea…and cupcakes.

This entry was written by CatastroFUCK and published on November 27, 2011 at 1:49 PM. It’s filed under Stuff, WTF and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

2 thoughts on “Bulldog to be Redesigned

  1. Stephanie on said:

    I have an old english so they don’t have quite as many problems because they have a more natural shape and structure, but I think it’s awful what they do for the look of the english bulldog. Biologically speaking it would never exist on it’s own. They can’t mate. When they artificially inseminate the dog needs a c section and then when the pups are born they have digestion issues and you have to rub their little puppy bellies after they eat. Nature would not make a dog like that. I’m glad they’re pushing for it.

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