Hey guys, Ive got very disappointing news for you all. It’s been about a week and a half since my last post and it’s for good reason, aside from my broken tooth operations (yeah it was/is that bad). There’s been a BlackSheep system failure, the company is no more. Now I know your probably saying “cut the shit we know you aren’t some huge corporate group”, to which I reply “shove it up your ass you cocky fuck”. but also I would say yes, we weren’t a big ark of starving writers headed by a fat man in a $6,000 suit smoking a cigar lit with hundreds and fueled by our tears, but we also weren’t just a dude and his roommate either. We had quite a few people working on this project, all with different roles and responsibilities to try to bring you a seal blubber quality product that you could always love and rely on(let me live the lie, just this once). It’s with great displeasure that I say all of those employees are gone (must have realized the checks were hard-drafted forgeries). Heck even the “Huckle” to my “berry Finn”(or the “playing darts” to my “while tripping on shrooms” if you prefer), KinderGardenCop, has revoked any stock in the project. Basically to make a long and boring story short, I now hold the only share of the company and like the PedoBear at a Bieber concert, It’s just too hard to stand on my own (see what I did there? double entendre). It sucks because I really love doing this, and most of all I love that you love me doing it, but it is just too much to handle with the schedule that I have to be able to bang out even 5 articles a day (forget the 12-15 that is the set actual daily quota from back when we had multiple writers). I’ve tried to get new writers to help with the workload but lets face it, no one wants to have to write 5 articles a day(as short and easy as they might be) for free and our outlook doesn’t show us being able pay anyone for a while. I have gotten a few offers from ambitious/self-respect lacking writers, but after giving them a test run on their humor and word play skills I realize having a cat drag its ass across the keyboard would yield more engrossing content than the tar-like literary suffocation these people called writing. After nearly four days of failed attempts to get a cat to ass-check my keyboard, I realized that Im just going to have to settle on what I can create whilst keeping what little sanity remains in my thought-box(SPOILER!: very little). I haven’t given up entirely (yet) but it certainly doesn’t feel too far off. Im going to probably have to alter my format a bit to keep my blood pressure below Anime level psi (picture the Gnome soldiers from Metal Gear Solid..now your on the same page). I’ll still try to get you new of awesometude when I can, but by the looks of things it may be more likely that I’ll have fewer, longer articles and/or stories of my adventures as ell as the cheap infograph/viralvid splashed here and there. I don’t want to let the site die just yet,
I have too much respect for what the BlackSheep name stands for I paid a good portion of the fees to start this fucker. So Im going to keep trying but it definitely will be sub-par before it gets back to superawesomefantstic. Im still open to other writers giving it a shot, If you think you(or a friend) can go toe to toe with me on rude banter and news giving(or just want to say you tried) go ahead and shoot me an E-mail at CatastroFUCK@BlackSheepCodex.com and I’ll explains the complex inner workings of our system (login, drink, type borderline offensive garble). Who knows maybe you just might like the accolades being a slave and going nowhere with your life. Well, here’s to me and trying to run a Hibachi restaurant without my group of ninjas (that was a metaphor, not to be confused with my legit group of ninjas).
yours with so much love you got fuckin pregnate,